Vietnamese Mothers, American Mothers

Do you know that, as a Vietnamese, your mother is an old woman, and as an American, your mother is a fashion model?

Growing up as a Vietnamese kid, I learned through songs and poems that Vietnamese mothers were old, and had always been old, and that their sacrifices were boundless. Mẹ già như chuối ba hương. Old mother was as sweet as the scented banana. Mẹ già tưới nước trồng khoai, nuôi con đánh giặc đêm ngày. Old mother watered the yams she grew and raised her children to fight the enemy. She worked tirelessly, she would not go to bed until she had completed all her chores, and she would be so happy when her children could sleep well. Thương con thao thức bao đêm trường, con đà yên giấc, mẹ hiền vui sướng biết bao. She would raise her children until they became mature adults, capable of taking care of themselves. Thương con khuya sớm bao tháng ngày, lặn lội gieo neo, nuôi con đến ngày lớn khôn. Every single Vietnamese kid knew that Mom's love was as immense as the Pacific Ocean, and as endless as the water coming out of the ground spring. Lòng mẹ bao la như biển Thái Bình. Nghĩa mẹ như nước trong nguồn chảy ra. And as her sacrifices were recognized, she grew in stature. She became the emblem of a people, she became Mother Vietnam. And the indelible legacy she left behind was a sad country, Vietnam. Yes, a sad country. Gia tài của Mẹ để lại cho con là nước Việt buồn.

I was astounded when I first watched that beautiful Hollywood movie titled "The Sound of Music." How could that young and beautiful Maria (portrayed by Julie Andrews), a woman full of energy, not drowned in sadness, her back not arched under the burden of an ancient culture, assume the role of a mother? I became completely confused when reading the Sunday newspaper's ads celebrating Mother' s Day. Buy your mother a beautiful dress, like the one worn by the fashion model in the picture, a watch, some nice jewelry, and even lingerie. Just visualize your mother wearing that dress, that watch, that piece of jewelry, and yes, that piece of lacy lingerie. Your mother would look like that fashion model in the picture. She is beautiful, attractive, and yes, young. It would be hard to identify her with that vague Vietnamese notion of sacrifice and endurance. She is not controlled by the fate of her country. She is in control of her own fate. Oh yes, she is American.

I often feel sad when thinking about my old mother who passed away a few years ago. She fit perfectly the image of a Vietnamese mother. May she rest in peace.

Today, walking through the mall, I noticed a beautiful woman walking side by side with her teenage daughter. She looked absolutely beautiful. A beautiful mother. Did I say that? How blasphemous could I be? I guess I can now think of a mother as a beautiful (and attractive) woman, as I have become a hyphenated American. Am I finally enlightened or have I become more confused?

Happy Mother's Day.

Drunken Poet